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Add one part satire to two parts sincerity. Sprinkle on a couple of rants. Stir liberally.
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Daily Blah FAQ
Who are you?
I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
What is this Daily Blah thing?
An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
Praise for Daily Blah:
"It is fun to watch the author's navel-gazing joy." - Sunday Times (UK)
"It's really funny and informative." - Dave Eggers, author
"The Blah is becoming a daily destination for me." - Richard Marsh, Playwright
"I like it, and I don't." - Fiona Hogg, Teacher
"Better than Xanax." - Lessley Andersen, journalist
"Dude, lay off the crack pipe." - Souris Hong-Porretta, gamesmith
Friends, Bloggers, Countrymen ... lend your ears to these people. I come not to bury them, but praise them.
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My TIME articles
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Daily Blah for... Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Richard Marsh, Master Satirist
Everyone, this is Richard. (Hi, Richard). Rich, this is everyone. Richard is one of my dear college-era friends whom I can't believe I've known for ten years. He's a video editor and extraordinarily prolific part-time playwright. When I managed to meet up with him in London last week, he harangued me (in the nicest possible way) for not having produced a novel in all the time he'd known me. This was due, he knew, not to me having too few ideas, but too many. What he said over a few beers in a noisy South London pub made me laugh, and I insisted he write it down in my Treo. "Chris," it reads, "you are a beagle in the woods. There are too many scents. The colors are too bright. Remember: you only have one wet nose and four legs. This is my message to you."
On my return, he sent me this satirical Daily Blah entry, which amused me so much I wanted to put it in the real thing. Or at least, a bowdlerized version (sorry, Rich, but this is a family blog). It was entitled "The Daily Blah You Haven't Seen Like It Really Is If There Were Any Truth Or Justice In The World, Or At Least Me, Chris Taylor, Who Isn't Really Writing This But I'm In Character At The Moment":
Hello Blahjunky,
My name is Chris Taylor. I write for Time magazine (short for 'if-i-don't-stay-up-all-night-i-won't-get-it-in-on-...). I'm a charming fellow, if a bit short. I'm talking about my attention span!
I shouldn't really be writing this blog at the moment - I've got a story to write and - oh, btw - I'm moving house.
I have just had a three week holiday in Europe. I got stomach poisoning, and thirteen ideas for a novel. In fact, series of novels. They're not set on earth, they're set on a really cool alternate universe of my devising. Really cool, but unfinished. Universe one, I mean. That's the only really cool universe I've roughly mapped out so far. I mean, they're all great universes, but a bit fuzzy because it's quite easy to come up with an idea for a really cool universe, but finishing it off takes time. And that I don't have a lot of! I'm tech correspondent for Time magazine, and I'm really into music and alternative lifestyle experiments. OMG, have you seen what the imac can do with your digistills?
Oh deary deary me, I have to write this article for America's weekly Time magazine about the electronics industry. I live in San Francisco, California. Moving house is quite a bind!
As tech correspondent for Time (circulation 25 million Americans, many of whom use electricity almost daily) I often write articles about the obsessive documenting of the ephemeral and how the entry-point for archiving is so low that immensely pure truth can now be discovered almost by accident through the neo-Tourettic capture of the everyday. I have a degree in history.
Okay, okay - I know. I know! There's an article to write for Time mag, I know! But I gots to box up these LucasArts 1st-personers and like move house and then reprogram my i-pod. 'Cos boy do I pod. I do, I pod all the time, why be ashamed?
So, anyway (Strike a light! Moving house! Oy!) I've been Christ Aylor, Novelist.
I am a beagle in the woods.
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