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Add one part satire to two parts sincerity. Sprinkle on a couple of rants. Stir liberally.
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Who are you?
I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
What is this Daily Blah thing?
An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
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Daily Blah for... Monday, June 30, 2003
Ah. Nuld. Is. Back.
Spent Friday evening in the company of a certain Mr. Schwartzenegger -- first for a special sneak preview of Terminator 3 to benefit his pet project, after school programs, then back to the Pacific Heights house of a big-time Republican donor for dinner, drinks and photo-ops coordinated with military efficiency. I know this is the standard cliche, but he's a lot shorter than you might think. And his handshake grip is positively limp. I guess he's got nothing to prove there. Here's the full transcript of our historic conversation:
Ah-nuld: Hi, nice to meet you.
Me: (swallowing hors d'oeurve) Nice to meet you.
(Some time later, while mugging for one-on-one photo shoot):
Me: Great movie.
Ah-nuld: Thanks.
I lied, actually. The movie wasn't that great. It was better than I was expecting, with a sense of its own inherent campiness -- witness Ah-nuld's confrontation with a flaming male stripper in a female biker bar -- and a twist ending that suits my apocalyptic sensibilities. But it still felt tired at times, re-tread, and horrifically mis-cast. With his sticky-out ears and gormless gawp, Nick Stahl is the goofiest John Connor you can possibly imagine; it is utterly unbelievable that the firebrand Edward Furlong of T2 would grow up into him. Furlong has had some rehab problems in recent years, which is only to be expected when your best friend is Robert Downey Jr. But surely they could have found a better replacement? Stahl's was the worst sci-fi performance I've seen since that guy who plays Anakin Skywalker in Attack of the Clones. What is it with late-teen early-twenties actors these days? Where are the raging young Turks, the angry Marlon Brandos? Do we need to start pumping testosterone into the reservoirs of LA?
What I should have said to Ah-nuld was "great performance." And I would have been referring not to his lackluster third outing as a cybernetic killing machine (strange how that future factory pumping out T-model Terminators has started adding wrinkles) but the way he has every Republican in the state eating out of his hand, begging him to run for governor. The way these high-powered donors and former state officials talked about him in the queue for the buffet, you would have thought he was the next William Jennings Bryant. And to be sure, he can talk passionately and with surprising eloquence about after-school programs. The thing is, that's all we've ever heard him talk passionately about. One successful initiative, plus a very studied silence on the question of whether he would run in a recall election, and suddenly he's created all this buzz. Very smart move. The less you say, the more of an impression you make. He'll be back, indeed.
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