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Add one part satire to two parts sincerity. Sprinkle on a couple of rants. Stir liberally.
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Daily Blah FAQ
Who are you?
I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
What is this Daily Blah thing?
An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
Praise for Daily Blah:
"It is fun to watch the author's navel-gazing joy." - Sunday Times (UK)
"It's really funny and informative." - Dave Eggers, author
"The Blah is becoming a daily destination for me." - Richard Marsh, Playwright
"I like it, and I don't." - Fiona Hogg, Teacher
"Better than Xanax." - Lessley Andersen, journalist
"Dude, lay off the crack pipe." - Souris Hong-Porretta, gamesmith
Friends, Bloggers, Countrymen ... lend your ears to these people. I come not to bury them, but praise them.
Arik
Bill
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My TIME articles
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Daily Blah for... Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Return of the Killer Smart Mob
It's back: the San Francisco smart mob that time forgot. And this time, it means business. Here's the e-mail:
You are invited to take part in MOB, the project that creates an inexplicable mob of people in San Francisco for ten minutes or less. Please forward this to other people you know who might like to join.
INSTRUCTIONS - MOB #1
Start time: Wednesday, July 16th, 6:27 pm
Duration: 10 minutes
(1) At some point during the day on July 16th, synchronize your watch.
(2) By 6 PM, based on the month of your birth, please situate yourselves in the bars below. Buy a drink and act casual. If you are attending the MOB with friends, you may all meet in the same bar, so long as at least one of you has the correct birth month for that bar. January, February, March, April: Union Square Sports Bar near Powell and O'Farrell. May, June, July, August: Gold Dust Lounge near Geary and Powell. September,October, November, December: Red's Corner at Ellis and Mason.
(3) Then or soon thereafter, a MOB representative will appear in the bar. He or she will pass around slips of paper with your instructions. Commit the instructions to memory and put the slip in your pocket. ONCE YOU ARE AT THE MOB SITE, NONE OF THESE SLIPS OF PAPER SHOULD BE VISIBLE.
(4) Leave the bar and walk to the MOB site. If you arrive near the final MOB destination before 6:27, stall nearby. NO ONE SHOULD ARRIVE AT THE FINAL MOB DESTINATION UNTIL 6:26.
(5) The MOB begins at the designated location at 6:27.
(6) At 6:37 you should disperse. NO ONE SHOULD REMAIN AT THE MOB SITE AFTER 6:39.
(7) Return to what you would otherwise have been doing.
* * * * SPECIAL NOTE: We need FOUR VOLUNTEERS to assist in passing out instructions. Please reply only if:
(1) You will absolutely positively 100% be at the mob and can be in the area by 5:30 on Wednesday.
(2) You are not a squealy.
(3) You are not concerned that passing out small slips of paper may harm your future chances to run for office.
If you meet the above criteria and would like to volunteer, send a message with your cell phone number to mobproject@yahoo.com.
-The San Francisco Mob Project (writing credit to "Bill")
I'll see you tomorrow at Red's Corner. Be there, or don't be part of an inexplicable and fun dadaist performance art piece.
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