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Add one part satire to two parts sincerity. Sprinkle on a couple of rants. Stir liberally.
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Daily Blah FAQ
Who are you?
I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
What is this Daily Blah thing?
An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
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Daily Blah for... Tuesday, August 05, 2003
Thought While Watching 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
--Oh God, this is the second movie in which Johnny Depp tries to do a British accent, and he's veering all over the place. One minute he's in North London; the next, Sydney. Why didn't all the British actors walk off the set in protest? And that drunken swagger is an exact copy of his Hunter S. Thompson imitation in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Hey, Johnny -- why not just do Captain Sparrow as Ed Wood?
--It's amazing how forgettable Jerry Bruckheimer movies are. It's like they erase your mind when you leave the theater. This is going to make it very hard to blog about.
--Nevertheless, Bruckheimer's genius is that he never does the same genre of action movie. And the genre he chooses always stands out against the pale background of same-y summer blockbusters. It's the Seth Godin "Purple Cow" theory again -- you would notice one purple cow in a field of cattle, and a pirate movie in a sea of so-so sequels. That's why it shot straight to number one. That's what I'm doing here.
--I can't tell the difference between Orlando Bloom and that guy who played the cowardly clerk in Saving Private Ryan.
--That guy with the wooden eye -- it's Gareth from The Office!
--How bloody long does this movie have to go on? We all know how it's going to end. Orlando gets the girl, Geoffrey Rush gets his comeuppance, Depp gets to do his starry-eyed Horatio Alger exit.
--The scene where the pirates walk on the sea bed is easily the coolest thing in this. Funny how, thanks mostly to Finding Nemo, the only decent summer movie moments this year have been under water.
--Why is everyone walking out two minutes before the end? What the hell is wrong with you people? I know it's formulaic, but if you were protesting that, you'd have walked out an hour ago. You just want to get back to your cars and drive as fast as possible in search of the next forgettable thrill, don't you?
--Wow, this is a movie that essentially advocates piracy. That's weird in the current Hollywood climate. Jonathan Pryce has this crappy line I've forgotten already: "I suppose sometimes the pirate's way is best," or something like that. And at the same time the MPAA and its paid stooges in Congress are trying to pass laws that would imprison people just for posting digital copies of, say, this movie on the Internet. I wonder where Bruckheimer stands on digital piracy? I wonder whether anyone will notice Disney's hypocrisy? Nah -- they're too busy having their minds erased the moment they walk out.
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