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I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
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An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
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Daily Blah for... Thursday, September 18, 2003
An Open Letter to My PC
Dear Dell Dimension XPS T500,
That sounds so formal. Can I just call you Delly? Of course I can. We've been through a lot, you and I. Think of all the happy hours we've spent together. Yes, there were happy hours, I'm sure of it. There was that time you installed that one program without a hitch. Well, without too many hitches. Let's just say it was smoother than usual. You know, that program. I can't remember which one it was, but you did so well, Delly.
I want you to hold on to those good times, because some of what I'm about to say may be difficult for you to process. The fact is, Delly, you're not the machine you once were. You're creating a lot of unnecessary drama, and it's just not healthy for us to carry on in this way. I've had to reboot you twelve times today, and three of those times were in safe mode. Now you've got this problem where all the text shows up black on a black background, and you know I can't work with you when you get like that. I can't spend all my time nursemaiding you. I've got a career, Delly. I've got a life, and you've got to let me live it.
To be honest, I think a lot of these "problems" of yours are simply your way of monopolizing my attention. I think in some twisted way you're not satisfied until I open your cover and fiddle around with your innards. And that time when you wouldn't start up until I went shopping on the laptop for a machine that might replace you -- was that a coincidence? I don't think so, Delly. You're, what, four years old now? Frankly, Delly, it's a little embarrassing to see a PC your age behave so childishly.
I can guess at why you're doing it. I know you get jealous when I spend time with the Macs. But you have to understand, Delly, I love Macs, I always have, I always will. I made that quite clear when we started our relationship back in New York. Hell, you were sharing an office with G4 even then. I did nothing with her that you didn't know about. If only you'd been able to work with her. Why is it that whenever the Macs want something from you, you won't let them peek at your hard drive? Why is it that file transfers only work if you're in control? Is it a power thing? You know I don't find that attractive.
I was always good to you, Delly. I bought you so many presents -- a new sound card, a DVD-CDRW drive, a video card, 5.1 surround sound speakers with subwoofer. Good stuff, no tat. I spent more on you than I ever spent on the Macs, you know. I got you a 100 GB hard drive for all your music, and it was all I could do to get you to accept it. Even now, after all we went through, there are times I'll boot you up and you'll tell me it's not there, when I can see it right in front of me. And if it's not the hard drive, then the DVD drive is supposedly missing. Come on. Lies hurt, Delly.
I'm not going to say what happened today with the wireless base station was the last straw, because I don't know if I'm really ready to leave you yet. The Macs can't give me everything. I still love your versions of Eudora and Palm Desktop the best, and oh, the games we play! All I'm saying is, it would be best if we spent some time apart. And that's why, when I shut you down tonight, it's going to be a while before I start you up again. Please try to understand. I need less computer drama in my life. When you're ready to work on our relationship, you know how to reach me. I'll be with the Macs.
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