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Add one part satire to two parts sincerity. Sprinkle on a couple of rants. Stir liberally.
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Daily Blah FAQ
Who are you?
I'm the newly-appointed Future editor at Business 2.0 and the former San Francisco correspondent for Time Magazine.
Wow, so does this mean everything you write reflects Time Inc's opinion? Or do you perhaps have some sort of standard disclaimer to the effect that it doesn't?
Naturally, the opinions contained in this blog are not those of my employers. In fact, some opinions may be the polar opposite of my employers. Some may be the same, for all I know. Hey, it's not like I ask my employers their opinions about everything in the news, okay? Let's just say that if this were a Venn diagram with one circle marked "my opinions" and the other one marked "my employers' opinions", there would doubtless be some overlap. But neither I nor my employers are able to pinpoint exactly where that overlap is.
What is this Daily Blah thing?
An experiment for a column I wrote about blogging back in December 2001. All these years later, I haven't been able to kick the habit.
If it's called Daily Blah, how come you don't ... hey, wait, you're writing every day!
See? Told you I'd try harder.
Mister, you talk funny. Are you one of them furrners?
Why yes I am, as it happens. I was born, raised and educated in Great Britain. I've been living in the U.S. since 1996 and identify as British.
I say, old chap, you forgot the "u" in "colour."
No I didn't. I may identify as British, but I am also an American journalist writing for an American audience about mostly American issues. These two different sides of me are a constant source of tension. Nevertheless, Daily Blah will adhere to American English grammar and spelling.
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Daily Blah for... Tuesday, January 06, 2004
Your Body is a GarageBand
Just back from Macworld, and another fun one-on-one with Mr. Jobs. Before I forget, could someone send a memo to Steve’s stylist: please, please, please stop his eyebrows from teasing upwards at the edges in that Satanic fashion. It seems to be getting more pronounced the older he gets, and it’s very disconcerting during interviews. Hum. Perhaps he’s doing it deliberately.
Nearly all of the news coming out of Jobs’ keynote seems to lead with the new miniature iPod, but the thing left me pretty underwhelmed. Yes, it’s the size of a business card, and the brushed metal colors are delicious, and you’ll look pretty hip at the gym with it attached to your bicep via the optional armband. But it’s $249, for crying out loud, and for that you get less than four gigabytes of music storage. Consider that the cheapest regular iPod gives you 15 gigabytes for $299, and you have to wonder what Steve was thinking. In his defense, he says it’s hard to get the component prices any lower. Myself, I think it’s a ploy to lure customers into the store, where they’ll naturally decide to pony up the extra $50. Unless they really, really like the idea of a pink brushed-metal business card on their arm.
Far more exciting from where I was sitting was GarageBand. This is it, I thought; the music-making software I’ve been yearning for. As an amateur keyboard noodler, I’ve fiddled around in vain for years with programs like Acid and Cakewalk; none have the simplicity of GarageBand, where you can lay down tracks or loops and mould them visually, like pieces of Playdough. And when an Apple techie told me you can grab music files from iTunes and drop them right into GarageBand – making sampling a cinch – I wanted to scream with joy. Strangely, Steve hadn’t mentioned this, perhaps fearful of the copyright alarm bells it would set off in record industry boardrooms. He also hadn’t mentioned you can’t download GarageBand, or even buy it separately; you must buy the boxed copy of iLife ’04. Bummer.
During the keynote, I knew Steve was going to invite some mystery musical superstar out on stage to demo GarageBand. This made me a little nervous, as I’d already been told by the Apple PR people I would be whisked off immediately after the event to interview said superstar. Who would it be? How should I prepare myself? Would I be lost for words in the presence of Bono, or would I end the day cleaning Keith Richards’ vomit off my shoes? Worse luck was to come when the mystery guest arrived: it was John Mayer, the crowd went wild, and I sat there bemused, feeling like my parents. I’d never heard of him! The last thing I want to do in an interview is bruise some pop idol’s ego with my first question: “sorry, who are you?”
Luckily, I had my Powerbook on my lap the whole time, and was able to do a surreptitious search in my iTunes library. Ah, there he was – the guy who sang Your Body is a Wonderland, a beautiful ballad and one of P’s favorite songs. Nice guy, as it turned out. Not – how shall I say this? – not conventionally handsome, and yet every woman in the room was absolutely wilting. Proof positive (if any were needed after Lyle Lovett married Julia Roberts) that penning a few songs is by far the best way to make up for a lack of looks. Dammit, where’s my copy of GarageBand?
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